Stream of Conscious Writing

10:15 GO 

today i am waiting in a doctors office for the the first time to be seen. i've had a really hard time with doctors eversince i overodozed on my anxiety medication and wound up with a night at st lukes and a $10,000.00 bill. today i am going in for or to see if i can get a referral for accupuncture. i had a really odd dream last night. i had a dream that it was me and jeffrey star and some other lgbtq male planning a magazine. i am not sure if i was a man or woman in my dream. we were planning a lgbtq magazine and the male wanted to call it vogue and i explained to him that the name was already taken and we should call it rebbel. we were walking to a parking garage and we were cornered by hillbilly looking large white men who then captured my two comrades i was able to flee and call 911 i told them the people our location and the liscence plate numbers and they said help would be on the way but help never came so i decided to go back and help my friends but it was too late they were alived but they had been skinned by the time i got back jeffree decided to jump from the parking garage and kill himself. it was a very disturbing dream the second dream i had after that i had a dream that i was in a hospital looking to see a doctor and that it had been several hours but one department began passing me off to the next until it was 5 o clock and the offices were closed but i was told i would still be seen. maybe it was or the dreams were trying to tell me not to have faith in figures that are meant to save me? i am not sure. 

10:20 

a dream that peels back the skin of the subconscious 

a dream that hurts our soul 

a dream that transforms, reconfigures, and rewrites 

 memories of our fears 

and then the open ocean of fears 

and then stones at the bottom of our throat 

that glow in darkness and sparkle like gold against the sand 

what kind of doctor do you trust? 

what kind of cop reveals themselves without showing their horns?